What’s in a Label?
Recently, a good friend of mine referred to me as delightful. At first I was a little bit put off because to me delightful just sounded too cute a description. No doubt that was just a reaction generated by my ego. But I looked up what it means, and I was actually surprised. Delightful, which sounded quite inconsequential to me, has a rather interesting backstory. To be delightful means that you lighten the mood and make everyone in the room stand up and take notice—not just for your looks, but your demeanor. I can work with that!
But this conversation got me thinking about labels. When I was a child I found life confronting. It was partly my circumstances, and partly just my chemical make up. I didn’t like school. For me it was a battleground, a place where I could get hurt and my knight in shining armor, my mother, couldn’t save me. She was locked outside the walls. I was at the mercy of the teachers and students. Meanwhile, for many of my early years I had truly awesome teachers, but I didn’t love school. I was always in trouble, and I got a lot of unpleasant labels assigned to me. I don’t need to list them here. You can imagine. But through it all I had a few weapons in my arsenal to keep me feeling protected. One of them was, oddly enough, was my name. Valerie means strong, so there was a little part of me that always felt, no matter what was happening, no matter how much trouble I was getting into, that I had strength on my side.
In the Bible people’s names were changed as they were given big assignments. Or, their names changed as their character grew. Jesus changed Simon’s name to Peter, which meant rock. Upon this rock I will build my church. On a different note, Boy Dylan the singer, songwriter was born Robert Allen Zimmerman. But, inspired by the poet Dylan Thomas he decided to make a name change. As he says, “ Some people - you’re born, you know, the wrong names, wrong parents. I mean, that happens,” he told CBS in 2004.
Before there were brands there were labels (which were really brands). And labels, especially in fashion, carried an ethos that could be transferred to the people who assumed them. I wear this label, I belong to this crowd, philosophy, lifestyle. Back in the 80’s wearing a Members Only jacket meant you belonged to a certain “club.” The leisure set wore boat shoes. The assumption was they were well-to-do and enjoyed a relaxed life.
Today, people have embraced the idea of personal branding, and they have used the efficiency of the digital realm to share who they are with anyone who will listen. It’s easier than ever to label someone - for good or bad. I’d like to believe it’s also easier than ever to uncouple yourself from a label that you don’t like. I’m not so sure that’s true, though. Human nature is, well, human. We’re all fallible, we all get hurt, we all have moments of lashing out. We all make mistakes.
If you’re reading this and you either want to reinvent yourself, or you want to settle more deeply into who you believe you are, or, maybe, you want to cast off a label that someone or something has assigned to you, I want to encourage you to do it.
But first, take some time - take a lot of time, to assess your motive. Sometimes we want to make a change because of dissatisfaction driven by insecurity. And this is a shaky foundation from which to build. Never make big decisions fast, if you can help it. And here’s a truth, you are probably doing better than you think you’re doing.